Sooo school! A little stressful for unnecessary reasons.
I'm sure I covered in a post earlier this year that I'm in 20 hours.. and whew it's catching up to me. Luckily we are over halfway and I am 99% sure I can get another 4.0! After midterms I do.. and I should be able to keep up the same work effort or less and keep it. Lately, I keep missing like 1 question on a quiz or something with only 10 questions. I hate 10 question stuff. I study and study and study.. for what? to get tricked by one question. Still and A.. just the lowest A. I just freak out because then it's going to be easy to drop to a B if I happen to miss 2 on a quiz one time or something. Not like that would be the end of the world or anything... well tomorrow I have another one of those stupid 10 question quizzes that I had to read like 15 news articles for. who knows what kinda of questions will be on this quiz but oh well.
I found out that because I will not be running in the first meet, I get to go home on Saturday! I'm pretty excited.. mostly because I get to go to Central church! Secondly because I'll get to spend time with my family and thirdly because I'll get to work and make some money and see some free movies!
Running.. running running running...
Cross training was not going so hott earlier this week. After every bike workout.. I was in a lot of pain that lasted all night and the next day and would have me limping. I ask my trainer about it. She suggests switching bikes/aqua jogging. I aqua jogged that day, but I was really tight/sore and in a little bit of pain that night, but it didn't really continue over to today. Today I tried the new bike.. didn't do a workout, but would up still getting a good one in. 24.2 miles in 65 minutes! And after I finished.. no pain! no limping! yay! What's weird today though, is that what has been bothering me today was not really my back muscle I was struggling with earlier, but it was more hip flexor and mostly IT Band issues. I'm just glad my back wasn't hurting. I know what to do to help my IT Band and hip flexor. I have no clue what is REALLY even hurting when I get the back pain. Everyone says it's muscular, but what muscle? What can I do for it? Apparently, just rest. Well hopefully a mixture of this new bike and aqua jogging will not make anything any worse and only help me get better!
Last thing before I go - My girlfriend is really helping me keep this positive attitude about coming back from this painful back stuff and just hard times with recovery and stressing about school. As bad as I think I have it.. I don't at all. At my worst of worsts.. I have it made. I definitely need to keep myself humble.
stupid mike just got my computer wet.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Down to the Wire
Down to the wire
I wanted water but
I'll walk through the fire
If this is what it takes
To take me even higher
Then I'll come through
Like I do
When the world keeps
Testing me, testing me, testing me
-John Mayer "Vultures"
Well, I am currently listening to John Mayer trying to relax. Maybe writing some stuff will help.
My current frustration is running, so I'm going to start here while my minds on it. If i was going in order of importance, school would be my next update but, oh well.
Things were going so great since my last post wayyyyy back in early February when I was just getting back into shape from the muscle spasm I had before Christmas break. I was finally pushing through workouts up in the top group or right behind. One Saturday morning we did a tempo. I only had 8 miles, some other guys had less, but a couple had 10. I stayed with the guys that had 10 for all 8! 43:13 for 8 miles - I was pretty freaking happy about it. I mean, not amazing, but I was back in shape! I felt great! I felt part of the team again and worthy of being on the team! So then what happens? The next workout we have was a fartleck on the farm.. Gravel road.. really loose gravel.. pretty windy, and from the first interval everyone was sprinting! I was dying, but I was determined to stay with the top group no matter what. I had just run an 8 mile tempo with them; I could hang on for a 20 something minute fartleck. Of course, a little over half way my back started hurting. It was the same thing as before Christmas. At the end of the workout I couldn't even do the cool down :( It's been 2 weeks. 2 weeks today actually, and I haven't run over 1 minute at a time without wanting to just absolutely die in pain. It hurts when I walk too. I don't know exactly what it is, but my trainer assumes it's the same thing it was last time. I feel like it is and the only thing I could do last time was rest. It doesn't hurt while I bike, but it sure hurts afterwards. I'm starting to wonder if it's doing any good. I feel like I'm actually getting a good workout by biking, but I'm starting to wonder if it's keeping me from getting better. I took yesterday off because I was at home and didn't have a bike or anything to cross train on anyways. Today I felt sooo good! All day! Didn't hurt walking or anything. Once I got off that bike today though, it was back. Painful. I feel like I'm just going to have to start all over again. I've been kind of paranoid lately that there's just some freak thing wrong with me that I'll never be able to fix or figure out how to keep it from coming back. I just want to run. I don't want to be scared that my back will hurt. I love running. I hate seeing the team workout and I can't be in the mix with them. I would rather be dying in a workout than on the stupid bike, or feel the way I do just walking around. It's a whole different kind of pain. Today, the guys did a workout I used to do in high school. A Michigan. It's the freaking hardest workout I've ever done I think. I used to tear those things up.. I so wanted to be able to do it so much faster today than I did in high school to show how far I've come. Once you finish something like that, you just feel strong. At least I always did in high school. Always did the whole freaking thing by myself too because the guys on my team were panzies. Workouts like this make me miss running so bad. I'm going crazy without it. On the other hand, in church on Sunday and actually just in my life in general lately, I've been feeling that I let running take too much control over my attitude, and life in general. I've realized this before, but I really need to do something about it. I guess I feel if I'm not moping about how pissed I am that I can't run that people will think that I don't care, that I'm faking it or something stupid like that. I shouldn't even care what they think.. but it's just hard anyways.. one of the things you love most being taken away from you. It's kinda like if Haley broke up with me right now. I'd still have to see her every day. I'd have to watch other people carry on relationships with her and the only thing I'd want is to be able to have that again. Life goes on though. Running doesn't DEFINE me. It is a talent that the good Lord gave to me and if He wishes me not to use that talent right now, then I need to find another way to glorify Him. I'm going to turn this situation around! I control my attitude and I'm going to make it a good one.
Well I haven't exactly caught up on my Bible readings. I'm like 2 chapters behind :o
I'm spending tonight to catch up. It's much needed. And then to catch up on sleep. I was up till 2 last night/this morning working on a Bio 2 lab. Kill me. haha
Well wish me luck with this attitude change, but also pray my back gets better. I fully believe in the power of prayer :)
I wanted water but
I'll walk through the fire
If this is what it takes
To take me even higher
Then I'll come through
Like I do
When the world keeps
Testing me, testing me, testing me
-John Mayer "Vultures"
Well, I am currently listening to John Mayer trying to relax. Maybe writing some stuff will help.
My current frustration is running, so I'm going to start here while my minds on it. If i was going in order of importance, school would be my next update but, oh well.
Things were going so great since my last post wayyyyy back in early February when I was just getting back into shape from the muscle spasm I had before Christmas break. I was finally pushing through workouts up in the top group or right behind. One Saturday morning we did a tempo. I only had 8 miles, some other guys had less, but a couple had 10. I stayed with the guys that had 10 for all 8! 43:13 for 8 miles - I was pretty freaking happy about it. I mean, not amazing, but I was back in shape! I felt great! I felt part of the team again and worthy of being on the team! So then what happens? The next workout we have was a fartleck on the farm.. Gravel road.. really loose gravel.. pretty windy, and from the first interval everyone was sprinting! I was dying, but I was determined to stay with the top group no matter what. I had just run an 8 mile tempo with them; I could hang on for a 20 something minute fartleck. Of course, a little over half way my back started hurting. It was the same thing as before Christmas. At the end of the workout I couldn't even do the cool down :( It's been 2 weeks. 2 weeks today actually, and I haven't run over 1 minute at a time without wanting to just absolutely die in pain. It hurts when I walk too. I don't know exactly what it is, but my trainer assumes it's the same thing it was last time. I feel like it is and the only thing I could do last time was rest. It doesn't hurt while I bike, but it sure hurts afterwards. I'm starting to wonder if it's doing any good. I feel like I'm actually getting a good workout by biking, but I'm starting to wonder if it's keeping me from getting better. I took yesterday off because I was at home and didn't have a bike or anything to cross train on anyways. Today I felt sooo good! All day! Didn't hurt walking or anything. Once I got off that bike today though, it was back. Painful. I feel like I'm just going to have to start all over again. I've been kind of paranoid lately that there's just some freak thing wrong with me that I'll never be able to fix or figure out how to keep it from coming back. I just want to run. I don't want to be scared that my back will hurt. I love running. I hate seeing the team workout and I can't be in the mix with them. I would rather be dying in a workout than on the stupid bike, or feel the way I do just walking around. It's a whole different kind of pain. Today, the guys did a workout I used to do in high school. A Michigan. It's the freaking hardest workout I've ever done I think. I used to tear those things up.. I so wanted to be able to do it so much faster today than I did in high school to show how far I've come. Once you finish something like that, you just feel strong. At least I always did in high school. Always did the whole freaking thing by myself too because the guys on my team were panzies. Workouts like this make me miss running so bad. I'm going crazy without it. On the other hand, in church on Sunday and actually just in my life in general lately, I've been feeling that I let running take too much control over my attitude, and life in general. I've realized this before, but I really need to do something about it. I guess I feel if I'm not moping about how pissed I am that I can't run that people will think that I don't care, that I'm faking it or something stupid like that. I shouldn't even care what they think.. but it's just hard anyways.. one of the things you love most being taken away from you. It's kinda like if Haley broke up with me right now. I'd still have to see her every day. I'd have to watch other people carry on relationships with her and the only thing I'd want is to be able to have that again. Life goes on though. Running doesn't DEFINE me. It is a talent that the good Lord gave to me and if He wishes me not to use that talent right now, then I need to find another way to glorify Him. I'm going to turn this situation around! I control my attitude and I'm going to make it a good one.
Well I haven't exactly caught up on my Bible readings. I'm like 2 chapters behind :o
I'm spending tonight to catch up. It's much needed. And then to catch up on sleep. I was up till 2 last night/this morning working on a Bio 2 lab. Kill me. haha
Well wish me luck with this attitude change, but also pray my back gets better. I fully believe in the power of prayer :)
Saturday, March 5, 2011
A Month. Really?
It has been over a month since I've said anything on here. How sad. Well, a lot has happened since early February: Valentine's Day, some great workouts, some fights, some really goooood times, signed a lease, and had another freaking muscle spasm.
Well let's see...
I'm still on top of my Bible readings, well except for yesterday. But I'm just about caught up and will catch up with no problem. Since February I have finished Leviticus! and I may have even still be in Exodus, but I finished that too! I can't really say I've understood everything or been 100% focussed like I should be, but it has still helped and been great to read. I've only missed one church service this year I think. I'm going to feel bad whenever I go back to Starkville 1st Baptist, though because they notice when I come, so they have probably noticed I haven't been there in a while. I've come home to church twice now, I went to 1st Presbyterian with some of the guys on my team, I missed the one service and I tried out the church Cross Point. Neither of the churches I went to really moved me the way Central church does here at home. I'm excited to go there in the morning. My relationship with God is getting stronger every day. I always tell myself I'm going to be one of those people that prays before every meal, but for some reason, when I actually sit down, I forget. How does this happen? I don't know. I walk in the cafeteria saying "Alright, remember to pray when you sit down" and then when I actually do, I just start talking to people and eating. Is this a bad thing? It obviously indicates that I become too focussed on food and talking to people than God, I think. It's just weird, but I pray a lot now-a-days. I also have been watching the church that my sister goes to in Knoxville! I REALLY like listening to the guy that gives sermons to the university students. He's really good about relating scripture to life and suggesting how to apply it.
I feel like I wrote enough in that paragraph to make this a post, but there's still a lot more for me to talk about, confront, or whatever I'm using this thing for. Maybe just one more topic for tonight.
My girlfriend. Not even sure where to start with this one lately. I feel like we have so many ups and downs. One minute we're fighting, the next we're laughing. One minute I feel old and married, the next I feel the "young and in love" way most people do our age. I mean, all in all it's great and I wouldn't trade it for the world. She's doing a pretty decent job battling her ED lately. There are some aspects I feel that could be a lot better, but I can't imagine going through it and am in no place to judge or make assumptions or tell her what she should do. Sometimes I just want to scream STOP COUNTING. JUST EAT IT. or something along those lines. I kind of did last night actually. Probably not one of my finest moments, but she recognized the problem and confronted it so I was proud of her. It's just weird how hypocritical situations with her and food can be.. like last night she's explaining how healthy the french toast we just made was, but then she was sooo scared to eat it at first. That's one thing I don't understand. I just wanna say listen to yourself haha. Also, she's very smart and clearly knows her problems. She's told me them 32789 times and how to fix them, but for some reason actually doing it is another story. Well, that's the case with a lot of things. "Easier said than done." I feel like this paragraph has been really depressing or I've sounded harsh, but really I'm so proud of her because I know it takes some strength that I don't even know if I have to fight something like that. I KNOW she'll get there one day. Also, she's a freaking beast at running. I'm jealous. 7th at SEC Indoor Championships in the 5k! If she wasn't sick, I think she could have gotten around 5th, but 7th is so great! I feel honored to be dating such a stud runner. haha
Well, it's late. I'm tired. This is long enough. I'll update soon on running/school/other less important matters hahah
Well let's see...
I'm still on top of my Bible readings, well except for yesterday. But I'm just about caught up and will catch up with no problem. Since February I have finished Leviticus! and I may have even still be in Exodus, but I finished that too! I can't really say I've understood everything or been 100% focussed like I should be, but it has still helped and been great to read. I've only missed one church service this year I think. I'm going to feel bad whenever I go back to Starkville 1st Baptist, though because they notice when I come, so they have probably noticed I haven't been there in a while. I've come home to church twice now, I went to 1st Presbyterian with some of the guys on my team, I missed the one service and I tried out the church Cross Point. Neither of the churches I went to really moved me the way Central church does here at home. I'm excited to go there in the morning. My relationship with God is getting stronger every day. I always tell myself I'm going to be one of those people that prays before every meal, but for some reason, when I actually sit down, I forget. How does this happen? I don't know. I walk in the cafeteria saying "Alright, remember to pray when you sit down" and then when I actually do, I just start talking to people and eating. Is this a bad thing? It obviously indicates that I become too focussed on food and talking to people than God, I think. It's just weird, but I pray a lot now-a-days. I also have been watching the church that my sister goes to in Knoxville! I REALLY like listening to the guy that gives sermons to the university students. He's really good about relating scripture to life and suggesting how to apply it.
I feel like I wrote enough in that paragraph to make this a post, but there's still a lot more for me to talk about, confront, or whatever I'm using this thing for. Maybe just one more topic for tonight.
My girlfriend. Not even sure where to start with this one lately. I feel like we have so many ups and downs. One minute we're fighting, the next we're laughing. One minute I feel old and married, the next I feel the "young and in love" way most people do our age. I mean, all in all it's great and I wouldn't trade it for the world. She's doing a pretty decent job battling her ED lately. There are some aspects I feel that could be a lot better, but I can't imagine going through it and am in no place to judge or make assumptions or tell her what she should do. Sometimes I just want to scream STOP COUNTING. JUST EAT IT. or something along those lines. I kind of did last night actually. Probably not one of my finest moments, but she recognized the problem and confronted it so I was proud of her. It's just weird how hypocritical situations with her and food can be.. like last night she's explaining how healthy the french toast we just made was, but then she was sooo scared to eat it at first. That's one thing I don't understand. I just wanna say listen to yourself haha. Also, she's very smart and clearly knows her problems. She's told me them 32789 times and how to fix them, but for some reason actually doing it is another story. Well, that's the case with a lot of things. "Easier said than done." I feel like this paragraph has been really depressing or I've sounded harsh, but really I'm so proud of her because I know it takes some strength that I don't even know if I have to fight something like that. I KNOW she'll get there one day. Also, she's a freaking beast at running. I'm jealous. 7th at SEC Indoor Championships in the 5k! If she wasn't sick, I think she could have gotten around 5th, but 7th is so great! I feel honored to be dating such a stud runner. haha
Well, it's late. I'm tired. This is long enough. I'll update soon on running/school/other less important matters hahah
Thursday, February 3, 2011
FRIENDS
So, I'm watching FRIENDS. I LOVE THIS SHOW. I haven't watched it in about 2 months really and I forgot how great it is and always will be!
I've been so busy lately. I've wanted to blog, but just haven't had time I guess.
I'm just going to keep doing the same thing I usually do.
1. My readings are still going great! I just finished reading about Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt, all the plagues, and all that good stuff! Very interesting to read about everything that the Lord did and yet Pharaoh still did not believe Moses and Aaron. I've been going to Sunday school and have really enjoyed it. This weekend I'm going home so I'll be going to church with my mom. I'm excited!
2. School is going pretty well! I'm definitely staying busy with these 20 hours, but looks like I should get another 4.0 pretty easily. My History grade - 100%, Trig - 100%, English - like a 98% (she's only taken 3 points off one of my papers), Spanish - 96ish%, Government - 91%, Bio II - just got a 93.5 on our first test! I hardly feel stressed at all. I have my days I guess, but who doesn't.
3. I love my girlfriend! She's been so encouraging towards me lately and she's been handling everything in her life so well! She's freakin fast too. 9:42 for 3000m indoors. That's ridiculous. It truly inspires me to be better!
4. Running is going just great! Yesterday's workout showed a lot of progress for me! The wind was horrible so the times were not very good, but the effort was certainly there! I finished right behind a teammate who has been well in front of me the past couple workouts and he wasn't having an off day, I was finally having a good workout!
Full Warmup
1 mile - 5:08
4 x 800m - 2:34, 2:33, 2:33, 2:31
8 x 400m - (with wind, against wind..) 70, 76, 71, 76, 71, 76, 71, 74
Cool down
It was also freezing cold! Coach complemented me on the workout today so I definitely feel like I did something right! I'm just looking forward to hammering out some more good workout like this one, if not better!
Well, this FRIENDS episode is almost over and then it's Jersey Shore night and I have some homework to get done first.
I've been so busy lately. I've wanted to blog, but just haven't had time I guess.
I'm just going to keep doing the same thing I usually do.
1. My readings are still going great! I just finished reading about Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt, all the plagues, and all that good stuff! Very interesting to read about everything that the Lord did and yet Pharaoh still did not believe Moses and Aaron. I've been going to Sunday school and have really enjoyed it. This weekend I'm going home so I'll be going to church with my mom. I'm excited!
2. School is going pretty well! I'm definitely staying busy with these 20 hours, but looks like I should get another 4.0 pretty easily. My History grade - 100%, Trig - 100%, English - like a 98% (she's only taken 3 points off one of my papers), Spanish - 96ish%, Government - 91%, Bio II - just got a 93.5 on our first test! I hardly feel stressed at all. I have my days I guess, but who doesn't.
3. I love my girlfriend! She's been so encouraging towards me lately and she's been handling everything in her life so well! She's freakin fast too. 9:42 for 3000m indoors. That's ridiculous. It truly inspires me to be better!
4. Running is going just great! Yesterday's workout showed a lot of progress for me! The wind was horrible so the times were not very good, but the effort was certainly there! I finished right behind a teammate who has been well in front of me the past couple workouts and he wasn't having an off day, I was finally having a good workout!
Full Warmup
1 mile - 5:08
4 x 800m - 2:34, 2:33, 2:33, 2:31
8 x 400m - (with wind, against wind..) 70, 76, 71, 76, 71, 76, 71, 74
Cool down
It was also freezing cold! Coach complemented me on the workout today so I definitely feel like I did something right! I'm just looking forward to hammering out some more good workout like this one, if not better!
Well, this FRIENDS episode is almost over and then it's Jersey Shore night and I have some homework to get done first.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Even Better
Well, I'm sitting here, deciding that I'm going to blog, but I have no clue what to call this one! I want to call it the same thing as my last one because I'm truly living a good life right now. Oh well. I'll think of something as this comes along.
Life = good. I'm still reading my Bible daily learning more and more about the Old Testament and God's work in the lives of Abraham, Isaac and their descendants. It's great reading about what happens to them and then still knowing that He never left their sides. It gives me comfort in knowing that He will never leave my side.
Lately, in reading some people's blogs. I see people usually either try to update daily or weekly with their progress in something. I can't decide if mine should be used for running purposes or to talk about what I've learned through my readings each day or what.. I just don't know.. I guess for now I'll just keep talking about my awesome life!
This past week has been great for me! In all aspects. Let's break this down..
1. My readings have been going great as I already stated.. Yeah, guess I gave the update for that up there ^ with what I'm reading and learning about.
2. Things with Haley are just great! We've been pretty busy this week, but both understanding and have kept contact at least.. unlike the disaster that was last week. I'm looking forward to a great weekend with her which will hopefully also include some Local Culture (this awesome frozen yogurt place here in good 'ole Starkville).
3. Running! My love is making a comeback! haha After a long 2 months pretty much of either doing nothing or not enough to get any sort of fitness, it's finally coming back! Progress is all I care about right now. I'm not looking to be the best on the team or anything like that. I just want to run. I want to not feel pain. I want to feel fit. Then I can worry about some intensity and quality workouts. This week was the first workout that I ran faster than my coach anticipated me to run based on my very slow come back it seems.
The work out was as follows:
Full warmup (2 miles, stretching, drills, extended run, couple of strides)
Mile - 5:03 (schedule said: 5:15-5:20)
4 Mile tempo - 21:50 (schedule said: 22:00-23:00)
Mile - 5:05 (schedule said: 5:15-5:20)
Cool down (2 miles)
I would say this was finally a good workout! Granted the other guys on the team were going like 4:40's and their 4 miler was in the 20 minute range, but I don't really care. They ran right around the times that they were suppose to - maybe a little faster - but I feel like I dominated the workout given to me and I know that one day (hopefully soon) I will be up there with them as my fitness is still coming back! I know I'm capable of much more. It was only 2 weeks ago that my 4 mile was 22:10 at it's fastest and I was dying. On another note, running/eating go hand in hand. I'll admit I did kinda freak out about what was going into my body over Christmas break and maybe a little before. Some of this may stem from having a girlfriend with ED, and then the rest is just my stupid brain. I guess I felt like when I really just wanted to eat 10 cookies that she would judge me, heck I judged myself at that point. Granted, probably no one should eat 10 cookies at a time, but I just really do not give a crap anymore. I mean some things are still disgusting to me for health reasons, but when I'm walking by the desserts in the school cafeteria, if I want a cookie then gosh darn it, I'm getting one. If I don't want one then good, but most days I would like just 1 to go with my meal. What's the harm in that? Especially since now I'm running full workouts and burning it off. I may have gone a little too far in the other direction earlier this week because the other day I think I have a cinnamon roll with breakfast, maybe 1 cookie at lunch, 2 before dinner and 1 after dinner haha. Well, I just tell myself: "At least I enjoyed them!" I'm not freaking out about it or anything. I just might slow it down a little because I still really do want that 6 pack one day. hahah
I feel like this is long enough. I hope any of my readers have had as great of a week as I have and that we all have another great week next week!
Life = good. I'm still reading my Bible daily learning more and more about the Old Testament and God's work in the lives of Abraham, Isaac and their descendants. It's great reading about what happens to them and then still knowing that He never left their sides. It gives me comfort in knowing that He will never leave my side.
Lately, in reading some people's blogs. I see people usually either try to update daily or weekly with their progress in something. I can't decide if mine should be used for running purposes or to talk about what I've learned through my readings each day or what.. I just don't know.. I guess for now I'll just keep talking about my awesome life!
This past week has been great for me! In all aspects. Let's break this down..
1. My readings have been going great as I already stated.. Yeah, guess I gave the update for that up there ^ with what I'm reading and learning about.
2. Things with Haley are just great! We've been pretty busy this week, but both understanding and have kept contact at least.. unlike the disaster that was last week. I'm looking forward to a great weekend with her which will hopefully also include some Local Culture (this awesome frozen yogurt place here in good 'ole Starkville).
3. Running! My love is making a comeback! haha After a long 2 months pretty much of either doing nothing or not enough to get any sort of fitness, it's finally coming back! Progress is all I care about right now. I'm not looking to be the best on the team or anything like that. I just want to run. I want to not feel pain. I want to feel fit. Then I can worry about some intensity and quality workouts. This week was the first workout that I ran faster than my coach anticipated me to run based on my very slow come back it seems.
The work out was as follows:
Full warmup (2 miles, stretching, drills, extended run, couple of strides)
Mile - 5:03 (schedule said: 5:15-5:20)
4 Mile tempo - 21:50 (schedule said: 22:00-23:00)
Mile - 5:05 (schedule said: 5:15-5:20)
Cool down (2 miles)
I would say this was finally a good workout! Granted the other guys on the team were going like 4:40's and their 4 miler was in the 20 minute range, but I don't really care. They ran right around the times that they were suppose to - maybe a little faster - but I feel like I dominated the workout given to me and I know that one day (hopefully soon) I will be up there with them as my fitness is still coming back! I know I'm capable of much more. It was only 2 weeks ago that my 4 mile was 22:10 at it's fastest and I was dying. On another note, running/eating go hand in hand. I'll admit I did kinda freak out about what was going into my body over Christmas break and maybe a little before. Some of this may stem from having a girlfriend with ED, and then the rest is just my stupid brain. I guess I felt like when I really just wanted to eat 10 cookies that she would judge me, heck I judged myself at that point. Granted, probably no one should eat 10 cookies at a time, but I just really do not give a crap anymore. I mean some things are still disgusting to me for health reasons, but when I'm walking by the desserts in the school cafeteria, if I want a cookie then gosh darn it, I'm getting one. If I don't want one then good, but most days I would like just 1 to go with my meal. What's the harm in that? Especially since now I'm running full workouts and burning it off. I may have gone a little too far in the other direction earlier this week because the other day I think I have a cinnamon roll with breakfast, maybe 1 cookie at lunch, 2 before dinner and 1 after dinner haha. Well, I just tell myself: "At least I enjoyed them!" I'm not freaking out about it or anything. I just might slow it down a little because I still really do want that 6 pack one day. hahah
I feel like this is long enough. I hope any of my readers have had as great of a week as I have and that we all have another great week next week!
Monday, January 17, 2011
The Good Life
10 days. Really Conrad? Come on. haha
Well, nothing much has really happened. I finally feel like I'm living my life with the right priorities, though. School has been good without being too overwhelming. I've been eating whatever I want and not thinking twice about it. Running is going better. Still not where I want to be, but at least I'm seeing progress. 2 Saturdays ago, we ran a 4 mile time trial that I did in 22:10. Not good. That was all I could have done. On Saturday though I kept that pace for 7 miles! Sounds like improvement to me! Then today, I did 90 minutes averaging 6:29 pace and go about 14 miles in. That's the longest and fastest I've gone in a long time! It felt so good to be running with the guys.. doing exactly what they're doing and not feeling like absolute crap. However, a tendon on my left leg that has been bothering me hurt pretty bad when I finished and I can still feel how tight it is.. so I'm a little worried about tomorrow's run, but it should b fine! And if it's not, whatever.
My walk of faith is growing stronger every day. I'm still on track to read The Bible in a year. Some of this Old Testament is a little boring, but my Bible has some life lesson sections so I'm still learning things or being reminded of things in most cases. I read all of Job for the first time. Definitely very interesting to read about all the adversity he faced and learning how God will be there for me throughout all adversity and won't give me anything I can't handle and I just need to wait it out and trust him. This is exactly what I'm doing with running adversities right now. And so far, so good. I went to church Sunday. Wasn't crazy about the sermon, but I'm proud of myself for going and I'm definitely going more than I did last semester.
LIFE IS GOOD
Well, nothing much has really happened. I finally feel like I'm living my life with the right priorities, though. School has been good without being too overwhelming. I've been eating whatever I want and not thinking twice about it. Running is going better. Still not where I want to be, but at least I'm seeing progress. 2 Saturdays ago, we ran a 4 mile time trial that I did in 22:10. Not good. That was all I could have done. On Saturday though I kept that pace for 7 miles! Sounds like improvement to me! Then today, I did 90 minutes averaging 6:29 pace and go about 14 miles in. That's the longest and fastest I've gone in a long time! It felt so good to be running with the guys.. doing exactly what they're doing and not feeling like absolute crap. However, a tendon on my left leg that has been bothering me hurt pretty bad when I finished and I can still feel how tight it is.. so I'm a little worried about tomorrow's run, but it should b fine! And if it's not, whatever.
My walk of faith is growing stronger every day. I'm still on track to read The Bible in a year. Some of this Old Testament is a little boring, but my Bible has some life lesson sections so I'm still learning things or being reminded of things in most cases. I read all of Job for the first time. Definitely very interesting to read about all the adversity he faced and learning how God will be there for me throughout all adversity and won't give me anything I can't handle and I just need to wait it out and trust him. This is exactly what I'm doing with running adversities right now. And so far, so good. I went to church Sunday. Wasn't crazy about the sermon, but I'm proud of myself for going and I'm definitely going more than I did last semester.
LIFE IS GOOD
Friday, January 7, 2011
A Fresh Start
It's been way too long since I've posted on here. I don't have any readers though. I'm starting to wonder why I even have this thing. I'm not inspiring to people like my girlfriend. If I were just a random person coming across my blog, I certainly wouldn't follow it haha. Oh well, I guess I have a lot to update on!
1. This new year is going to be one to remember for sure! I am submersing my self with the Lord! I'm going to try to read The Bible in a year! This is definitely one of the most positive things I have going for me right now! I haven't been able to rely on much lately and the Lord is all I need anyways. I need to seriously work on my relationship with him before I can do any good in others' lives or even my own. I need to rearrange my priorities. I say this knowing that I live in sin. I hate that I live a sinful life, but who doesn't sin. Some things I've been reading the past couple days have said how the Lord will love us no matter what and he will never leave us. Even when we push him away. I don't want to push him away, ever again. I've also read about how the satan walks around just looking for someone to taunt and that I need to have the courage and faith to deny him when I am tempted. I've learned that I am not smart enough to make my own decisions or choose my path and that the Lord has already chosen it. This leads me to thinking about how decisions I make will change my life. Well, if I make them, I assume God knows I was going to make them and they will eventually teach me some lesson. I guess I will just have to face the consequences for my actions like my mother always tells me. If I choose to lie, cheat, or curse, I will be answering for it one day. If I choose to drink, I could be caught and punished. If I choose to have sex, I could wind up with a baby. Some of these consequences for sins are definitely more frightening than others, but these are choices I will face and choices I will answer for one day and learn things from. I know that the Lord will never leave me through the decisions I make, but that certainly doesn't mean I should just flat out sin and be ok with it, right? I'll fight these battles within as they come. For now, all I want is for this hunger for more knowledge from God to continue.
2. My family is doing great, I guess. I should most certainly work on my relationships with them. I didn't even call my mother today. She's probably so sad. She's trying to eat healthy and exercise this year and lose some weight. I'm so proud of her and I will be praying every day that she continues it. My sister was accepted into her Graduate School of choice which is really exciting! It's so weird to see my sister in the real world. haha
3. My girlfriend... where do I even begin with her.. I haven't even talked much about her on here as a friend pointed out. Some boyfriend I am? Well, she's amazing, but definitely going through a hard time. Actually, I think every day is hard, probably even every hour. I can't imagine fighting an ED like she is. I HATE when it takes over her. It's like within one hour of her restricting her diet, I can tell this other "Haley" comes out and is totally not the girl I fell in love with. Sometimes this scares me for our future. We were talking about our future the other night. It's so weird to think I already have my life all planned out. Don't get me wrong, everything is pretty much exactly how I want it.. as good as it can be. It's just scary. Other guys I know don't even know what they want to be after college. They are focussed on the day ahead of them. I'm always thinking about the future. I've always been a little more mature in this sense than most other people my age though. (that sounded kinda prideful, something I just read tells me it is NOT a good thing). Anyways, I have a lot of respect for my girlfriend for everything she's been through. I'll love her no matter what. I can already hear those wedding vowels, and I certainly will love her in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer.. and whatever the other traditional vowels are too haha I pretty much have already loved her through all these things.. So there is not a doubt in my mind that I would stand by her side through anything else.
4. School... is back in session. I love school. It's so weird. College is awesome though. I'm taking 20 hours this semester. Kinda a lot for someone like me. I'm definitely going to stay busy, unlike last semester. I am totally ok with this. I want to graduate in 3 years and if this is what it takes them I'm on board for the ride. I just really don't want to lose my 4.0.
5. Running. I don't even know where to begin. I LOVE IT. I'm practically obsessed. I want to be so great, but I suck right now. Getting back in shape after not running for almost a month and then only being able to do very little is not easy. I have my first workout with the team tomorrow morning. I'm kinda freaking out about it. I feel embarrassed. I'm nervous that my leg will start hurting half way through and I will be worse off than when I started. I want to feel stronger before I take something like this on. Today's run was amazing. I was a little winded afterwards, but it was a pretty good pace and the longest I've run in a while. I didn't have any pain either. Such a great day for me in the running world. I only hope that tomorrow goes just as well! This is the part of my life that I have definitely turned over to God. He has a plan for me with running. He had me injured over Christmas for a reason. It was probably because I was becoming so obsessed that I needed to stop. I just hate that it took me so long to realize this. Even with this minor leg pain, if it's hurting, it's hurting for a reason. Whatever it is, I don't know, but I honestly will not worry over it any more. I believe greatness is in my future thanks to Him and if it includes running then so be it! If not, then tough luck, it'll be something else!
I guess I should go get some rest for this workout in the morning though! I think this post was long enough anyway!
1. This new year is going to be one to remember for sure! I am submersing my self with the Lord! I'm going to try to read The Bible in a year! This is definitely one of the most positive things I have going for me right now! I haven't been able to rely on much lately and the Lord is all I need anyways. I need to seriously work on my relationship with him before I can do any good in others' lives or even my own. I need to rearrange my priorities. I say this knowing that I live in sin. I hate that I live a sinful life, but who doesn't sin. Some things I've been reading the past couple days have said how the Lord will love us no matter what and he will never leave us. Even when we push him away. I don't want to push him away, ever again. I've also read about how the satan walks around just looking for someone to taunt and that I need to have the courage and faith to deny him when I am tempted. I've learned that I am not smart enough to make my own decisions or choose my path and that the Lord has already chosen it. This leads me to thinking about how decisions I make will change my life. Well, if I make them, I assume God knows I was going to make them and they will eventually teach me some lesson. I guess I will just have to face the consequences for my actions like my mother always tells me. If I choose to lie, cheat, or curse, I will be answering for it one day. If I choose to drink, I could be caught and punished. If I choose to have sex, I could wind up with a baby. Some of these consequences for sins are definitely more frightening than others, but these are choices I will face and choices I will answer for one day and learn things from. I know that the Lord will never leave me through the decisions I make, but that certainly doesn't mean I should just flat out sin and be ok with it, right? I'll fight these battles within as they come. For now, all I want is for this hunger for more knowledge from God to continue.
2. My family is doing great, I guess. I should most certainly work on my relationships with them. I didn't even call my mother today. She's probably so sad. She's trying to eat healthy and exercise this year and lose some weight. I'm so proud of her and I will be praying every day that she continues it. My sister was accepted into her Graduate School of choice which is really exciting! It's so weird to see my sister in the real world. haha
3. My girlfriend... where do I even begin with her.. I haven't even talked much about her on here as a friend pointed out. Some boyfriend I am? Well, she's amazing, but definitely going through a hard time. Actually, I think every day is hard, probably even every hour. I can't imagine fighting an ED like she is. I HATE when it takes over her. It's like within one hour of her restricting her diet, I can tell this other "Haley" comes out and is totally not the girl I fell in love with. Sometimes this scares me for our future. We were talking about our future the other night. It's so weird to think I already have my life all planned out. Don't get me wrong, everything is pretty much exactly how I want it.. as good as it can be. It's just scary. Other guys I know don't even know what they want to be after college. They are focussed on the day ahead of them. I'm always thinking about the future. I've always been a little more mature in this sense than most other people my age though. (that sounded kinda prideful, something I just read tells me it is NOT a good thing). Anyways, I have a lot of respect for my girlfriend for everything she's been through. I'll love her no matter what. I can already hear those wedding vowels, and I certainly will love her in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer.. and whatever the other traditional vowels are too haha I pretty much have already loved her through all these things.. So there is not a doubt in my mind that I would stand by her side through anything else.
4. School... is back in session. I love school. It's so weird. College is awesome though. I'm taking 20 hours this semester. Kinda a lot for someone like me. I'm definitely going to stay busy, unlike last semester. I am totally ok with this. I want to graduate in 3 years and if this is what it takes them I'm on board for the ride. I just really don't want to lose my 4.0.
5. Running. I don't even know where to begin. I LOVE IT. I'm practically obsessed. I want to be so great, but I suck right now. Getting back in shape after not running for almost a month and then only being able to do very little is not easy. I have my first workout with the team tomorrow morning. I'm kinda freaking out about it. I feel embarrassed. I'm nervous that my leg will start hurting half way through and I will be worse off than when I started. I want to feel stronger before I take something like this on. Today's run was amazing. I was a little winded afterwards, but it was a pretty good pace and the longest I've run in a while. I didn't have any pain either. Such a great day for me in the running world. I only hope that tomorrow goes just as well! This is the part of my life that I have definitely turned over to God. He has a plan for me with running. He had me injured over Christmas for a reason. It was probably because I was becoming so obsessed that I needed to stop. I just hate that it took me so long to realize this. Even with this minor leg pain, if it's hurting, it's hurting for a reason. Whatever it is, I don't know, but I honestly will not worry over it any more. I believe greatness is in my future thanks to Him and if it includes running then so be it! If not, then tough luck, it'll be something else!
I guess I should go get some rest for this workout in the morning though! I think this post was long enough anyway!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)