Mushy Gushy Love Post

Soooo it's time I make one of these posts where I'm just going to go on and on and on about how much I love my girlfriend. Some of you may not want to read.. hahah

But it's true. I've found my soulmate. I don't think this post will be too long though because words can barely describe how I feel. Being without her this summer has been one of the hardest things. Honestly, I didn't think this summer would be this bad. We've been long distance before and it didn't feel this bad. Also towards the end of the year I guess I was thinking we were around each other too much maybe. I don't know, I'm sure some of it was just my frustrations with her struggles and problems of my own. I was being too selfish, though. Getting back on topic, I would rather spend all my time with her and get annoyed sometimes than to not have her this much.

Did I mention she's gorgeous?

Not gonna lie, my girlfriend has issues. But she's perfect for me :) With everything we've been through, we always come out stronger. I truly believe there is nothing our relationship can't handle. No matter how annoying either of us get, we love each other way too much to let the other go.

I guess when you find love and you rely on the other person so much you just can't live without them. I've kind of lost a part of me it feels like this summer. I haven't had my best friend to laugh with, cuddle with, yell at, tickle, kiss, hug, talk to pretty much whenever I want about whatever I want. I can't wait to have it all back!

This post sounds so clingy which I really didn't think I was.. Oh well, who cares if I am obsessed haha

perfect for each other 

I think about our future all the time. I want to propose.. tomorrow haha but there's no point really in proposing if we would just be engaged for like 8 years. haha I still have 3 years of undergrad left and at least 3 years of Dental school. I don't really want to be married and be dirt poor, but I also don't want to wait till I'm like 27 or 28 to get married. I'm so ready already haha and I know she is too. I don't really know her career plans for the future.. She's majoring in Nutrition and I don't really know how much schooling she needs after undergrad.. 2 more years of that though. Sooo if we were to get married in 3 years.. We'd be living entirely off her salary which who knows how much that'll be.
^funny how I think about these things..

If you know me, you know I love kids. Babies especially and every time I see one I just want one of my own. With Haley of course. They're going to be soo cute and I'm just excited to see how that chapter of our lives goes. It'll definitely spice things up ;)
She's going to be a great parent one day!

Hope everyone has a good Wednesday! We're almost to the end of the week..
p.s. I'm moving back to Starkville a week from today! So excited!

A Letdown Leads to a Lesson

Well, I'm having a pretty good week, I guess. It started off pretty great.

Wednesday morning I had a workout though and I wasn't really happy with it afterwards. I had 2 miles hard, then 3 miles hard, and then 2 more miles hard. I'm pretty happy with the last 2 sets, but the first one was just way too slow I guess. I spent the whole day freaking out about my fitness because of it. Haley's times were a lot faster (as far as for a girl) a couple of my other teammates also seemed to have faster workouts. I've just been telling myself all summer that I'm gonna be top 5 when we get back and that I've been working really hard, but according to this workout, I haven't been working any harder than my teammates probably. On a better note, I'm glad all my teammates are having such an awesome summer training wise. That means our team is just going to be awesome this year! Can't wait! I also just can't wait to be back with everyone. Who cares about how hard I'm working right now.. I'm just going to have to pound out some good workouts when we get back and if given the opportunity to race, race my ass off.

Work has been dead, but this weekend will probably be super busy. Cowboys Vs. Aliens, Smurfs, and Crazy Stupid Love.. 3 movies from different genres. That means a lot of people are going to come!

I miss my girlfriend so much. Only like 1 more week.. or less than that now I think! We haven't even had the chance to talk much lately it feels like. We talked for a while Wednesday, but I was being dumb about that workout and wasn't in a very good mood. She did everything she could to make me feel better.. it just wasn't working haha Then yesterday I don't even know what she was doing all day. It really kinda bothered me. I texted her about 3 times all spread out over a couple hours and never got a response. It'd be one thing if I knew what she was doing.. but I didn't so I just felt pushed to the side/ignored and didn't like it. I was also probably just jealous because I'm pretty sure she was out with friends and stuff and I just wish I could be there with her! Wow, maybe I'm just clingy? haha sorry

Anyway, my whole freak out on Wednesday really made me see how I've been way to obsessed with running. For the next two weeks, I'm going to try not freaking out if my workout doesn't go as well as I had hoped or if I just don't even feel that great on a run.

I'm starting to feel a cold coming on :/ I need to go take some medicine.
Then, I'm meeting my mom and her boss for lunch at Raferty's yummmm

Have a good weekend!

My Week in Starkvegas

Sooo let's see..
I survived the 75 mile week.. and this past week was only 60. I felt like I didn't do anything haha..
I also didn't eat too healthy. I found myself everyday looking for some kind of sweet to eat. By the end of the week I was eating wayyyy too many starburst jelly beans and pretzel m&m's. yummmm. But it's starting to catch up with me. haha. Last night, I had to run after I got off work and I did not look nearly as fit as I did back in mid June. Soo I decided I'm determined to do enough push-ups and sit-ups to look fit again in the next 3 weeks before I go back to school. Oddly enough.. I didn't wake up to run this morning. I feel like a complete failure. I know I'll get it in.. I just really wish I had done it this morning. It's so much harder to make yourself go out and do it later than just getting it over with in the morning.

My sleeping schedule is so weird. I can't find a balance because sometimes I work nights soo I can't go to sleep till like midnight. Other nights I'm off and I'd like to be in bed by 10 at the latest. The nights I work though, I only get about 5-6 hours before I run so then I wind up taking excessively long naps and I'm not tired until midnight again. Now there are days like today where I got my full 8 hours, but I still feel so tired. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

I went to Starkville for the week and had a great time! I got to run with my coach and a teammate, rented a lot of movies, ate at my favorite restaurant there, but best of all was able to spend a lot of quality time with my awesome girlfriend.
- My run with Coach made me very confident in my fitness, while my runs with Adam made me question a little bit how hard I'm actually working. I mean, I feel like I'm doing great, but he didn't seem too blown away by my runs and he made me go even faster than I've been running. What if everyone else is running the kind of pace we were running? Oh well, just 3 more weeks till I find out!
- We rented Inception (thought it was great), Hallpass (I liked it), The Lincoln Lawyer (loved it), Black Swan (just ok), and Blue Valentine (horrible). haha I haven't watched that many movies in a long time.
- My favorite restaurant in Starkville has been Old Venice for quite a while now, but they got a new menu and changed the bread they serve. I'm not a fan. It's probably not my favorite place anymore. What I ordered was ok.. the appetizer wasn't that good to me and my girlfriend got a salad. I walked out of there paying about $40 and was pretty unhappy with it overall. Now I wish I had gone to Umi or something.

sooooo good

Sooooo this week just helped me realize how much I love my girlfriend. Can't live without her. I've missed her so much and I do already.We talk about marriage a lot. I can't wait to be married and start a family with her. On another note, I don't really think we fought at all this week! :) there were just a few times that she went a lil psycho. *Sorry babe ;) I guess I kind of called her out for her restricting habits and she didn't like it.. She knows better, though! It was really frustrating to watch her all week eat oatmeal, a smoothie, and salad. I just don't understand that. I'm noticing that when she struggles, I struggle, and we struggle in our relationship. It's very... exhausting in a way. I can't wait for the day when food isn't an issue. I don't want it in our life or in our family's life when we're older. Wish there was something I could do.

Well, I think this is a little shorter than the last one. haha sorry about that!
Hope everyone has a great start to the week!

48 hours from Hell

So... last weekend was ridiculous!
Last week's mileage was 75 which is pretty close to if not the highest mileage I've ever done in a week! And boy was I tired by the end.

So Wednesday night I probably got my usual 5-6 hours of sleep (not enough). I woke up at 5:30 to do my 6 miles. I finished the final season of 24 :( I took about a 3 hour nap. Then I had another 4 mile run at about 3:30 in the afternoon. Of course it was about 105 degrees. ugh. Then I got ready and went into work. 5-close. I work at a local movie theater and of course we did a midnight show for Harry Potter. We sold out of 9 screens. That's over 1600 people. Needless to say it was absolutely ridiculous. It started out not so bad, but by 10:30 we were getting dominated in the concession stand. I had to get off my register and start doing all the things that needed to be done for the people taking orders. We were running out of popcorn, drink cups, pretzels, hot dogs, lids.. pretty much everything in that concession stand was running low. As a supervisor, it's my job to make sure that everything is stocked and we don't run out. When we're that busy, that means running around the place doing 3892053 different things. I saw some friends there, but there was no way I could stop and talk.

This isn't even that good of a picture to describe it. 

I guess it was lines about that long all night.. but towards the end it was so crowded you couldn't see the floor like that. It was packed in there. 

Sometime around 11:00, I remember thinking we still have 1 more hour before the movie starts and everyone will just go sit still. I was sweating really bad because I was running around.. it was really bad and I felt so gross at the end of the night. Also, around 11:00, our drink machine stopped working in out main concession stand. Couldn't fill people's cups up. Do you know how bad that is? Out of 1600+ people, just imagine how many wanted a drink.. I'm just glad I wasn't on the register having to tell people they weren't working. We opened our side concession stands, but they don't have all the drinks the main ones do.. plus it's just real inconvenience. Oh well. There was nothing else we could do. Finally about 10 after midnight we stopped getting customers. I've seriously never experienced anything like that in my 4 years of working there. After all the people stopped coming, it was time to close down. For me, that means counting all of the items we sell. Yeah, we do inventory every night. It sucks. We were finally done around 1:30, but my manger needed some people to stay until the movie got out to help collect 3D glasses and clean the theaters a little.. at least pick up drinks and buckets of popcorn.
I didn't leave until 2:45ish.

At this point I knew that if I wanted to wake up and do my 10 miles at 5:30.. I most likely would not wake up with only like 2 and a half hours of sleep.. so I just decided to go ahead and run. I ran from about 3:00-4:00 in the morning. It was actually a really good run, I was just super tired. I got in bed at about 5:30 AM and slept till around 10:30. I had to be at work Friday at 12. I worked for 12 hours Friday. It was miserable. 12 pm to 12 am. I was so tired of the place by the end of the day. I almost quit twice that day. The managers were just being real bitches *excuse my language haha. But I work my ass off for that place.. and especially was this weekend. I was doing everything I could and better than anyone else up there can. So to be given the attitude I was or treated the way they were treating me did not go over well with me. Also.. the stupid high schoolers I work with like to talk trash behind my back for some reason.. They're so dumb and I was not in the mood to deal with their shit while working a double. By the end of the day, I was just thinking "why have I worked my ass of for a place for 4 years in a supervisor position only getting minimum wage?!?! walk out now and see how much better you'll feel and how shocked everyone will be" It certainly would have made a statement.. but in all actuality I love that place. I love the people and they love me.. we were just all having a really long and hard weekend. I'm going to be getting free movies for the rest of my life.. soooo I can handle a few rough weekends I guess.

Well, I got off at midnight and slept till about 5:30 before I had to get up and going for my long run. 15 miles. I started off not really knowing if I could physically do it. My legs and whole body actually was just so tired. After about 2-3 miles I was just thinking "you still have 12-13 left.. ahhhhhh" When I finally got to the half way mark.. I was so relieved.. except I knew I had to push myself harder the second half to get the quality run in I wanted. Surprisingly, I was feeling really strong the last 7 miles and it wound up being a really good run. Sooooo anyway, those 2 days just sucked all around.
Work wasn't too bad Saturday or Sunday because everyone had seen Harry Potter by that time.

I've been meaning to do this post all week.. but I've just been busy. This has been a really good week! I'll try to post again during the weekend with an update on this week because I'm in Starkville visiting my amazing girlfriend and it's been awesome so far sooooo I'll talk about that in the next post!

We're almost to the weekend. We can make it! haha

Tired

I'm having one of those days..
I don't really feel like moving or talking. I want to sleep and watch 24.
I really should get out of this mood though.. I guess I'm not in a very friendly state, but I shouldn't be taking it out on others.

I ran 14 miles this morning. It was super hard. I feel like it shouldn't have been that hard. I still have to increase my mileage by 10 miles before I reach my max. Not sure how this is going to go over feeling like I did this morning. I'm going to take next week a little easier. I went 3 weeks pretty hard and 1 easy for the last cycle and this one I'm going to do 2 hard 1 easy and then the last 1 a little harder I think. After talking to my super fast girlfriend about her run this morning, it made me feel even a little worse about my run. She was 17th at nationals in the 10k.. so she is really really good, but her run was just barely slower than mine. I just feel like if I want to be a really fast guy.. I should be running even faster. She assures me I'm running really strong and probably faster than most of my teammates. I'm just going to spend the next week focussing on getting the mileage in and not so much on pace.

I've watched like 9 episodes of 24 in the past 24 hours. It's sooo addicting and I have nothing else to do.

I finished my nutrition class last night! I got a 91 on the test which I wasn't too happy with, but I still got a 95 for the class! I can deal with that!

I overindulged myself last night. My family and I went to The American Cafe last night. I wanted pasta, but I got like the cheesiest one. I was able to pick off most of the cheese, but then of course I saw they had a peanut butter ice cream pie. I wound up eating most of it by myself and it was huge. I just kept thinking that I was running 14 miles in the morning and I needed all the food I could get and that tasted SO good. I shouldn't have gotten that, though. I should have waited till I was home and eaten something else. Oh well, it's in the past. I haven't done any circuit work in a week or 2.. starting to lose whatever abs I was getting :/ My peanut butter intake certainly isn't helping! haha

I have to go in to work at 5. Hope I'm awake and ready to sell some large drinks! (There's a contest going on to sell large drinks. Each drink has a point value and the first 2 people to 3500 points get $50. Right now I'm in the lead by about 400 points and I'm at 2476 I think.. sooo I'm almost there and with Harry Potter coming out soon we're going to be so busy!)

Well.. I'm going to get back to my show.
Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Summer in a nutshell

Pretty much all I do every day is run, eat, nap, watch 24, maybe do some homework for my Nutrition class, and work! I pretty much love all these things so I don't really care that I don't have much of a social life outside of these things haha. I know, it's sad.

Such a great show. I've watched 6 seasons in about a month and a half.

Each episodes is about 45 minutes long and there are 24 episodes in a season.

If you haven't seen it, you need to. It's addicting.

Well obviously I haven't blogged in a long time.. I guess I just thought no one ever read it or that I just didn't have very important things to say. I kinda want to use this as either a training log for my running or maybe just a way to share with people the things I learn as I grow in my faith. But I guess I feel like I haven't learned too much to grow in my faith.. which needs to change and I keep a running log on paper sooo doing it twice seems kind of pointless and I don't even know that people really would be interested to hear about my training. Most of this summer I haven't even really wanted people to know about my training..

I guess I'll address my running, though. This summer has been really intense so far. I want to be really good this year and so I'm taking all my runs pretty serious. I don't run hard every day, but I just stay focussed. On aerobic development runs, I start off at my easy pace, but the last half I get my legs going and by the end I'm running 6:00 pace. Apparently this is faster than some of my teammates have been running. I'm not sure though because none of them ever talk about paces.. Everyone just says they are having pretty solid runs. I wish I knew what they were really up to. Are they working hard at all? Are they working as hard as me? Are they running faster than me? I just can't wait to see where I stand on this team because I haven't really known since November where I stand. Anyways, some days I feel really tired and my legs feel super heavy and it makes me wonder if I can keep this up until November. I mean, that is a long way away. I start thinking about the really hard workouts we're going to be doing when we get down to school and I wonder how my legs are going to hold up if they're already this tired. I guess I'll manage. I also wonder how I'm supposed to do 10 mile tempos at 5:20 pace if I can't even do 10 miles under 6 minute pace without being pretty shot.  I know it's early and I'm not supposed to be there yet, but I feel like I'm running a lot faster than I ever have before so I'm excited to see what kind of season I'm going to have. Hopefully my hard work pays off!

Yesterday, me and my girlfriend Haley were looking at the stats on our blogs. Although I thought no one reads this thing, I guess quite a few people that read her blog tend to find mine and see what I'm up to. haha soooo Hi all of Haley's followers :) I'll try to blog more so that you can get both sides of our relationship or at least see more of the real me and not just all the nice things she says about me :)

A Week Away

Spring Break! I finally get some down time! I've been home for a few days now and it's just great! I brought one of my friends back with me Saturday and we went to see Rango... but it sucked so we went to Just Go With It. It was actually pretty good! Then Sunday I got to go to Central Church again! Love that place. Our pastor wasn't there this week, but the message was still good.. just not the same as when Ernie gives the sermon. I've definitely enjoyed the food of being home. Home-cooked meals are so great. Today was a very boring day, though. I woke up and was on the couch alllllllllll day. pretty bad. I finally did some stretching and tried to run. It just did not feel right. I could tell it was getting worse with every step. I stopped at the stop sign. Didn't do any damage.. still doesn't hurt walking, but I just want to be running. Maybe tomorrow I won't be so lazy and tomorrow will be a successful day of running...

A week away from Starkville.. what am I going to do? I feel like I might as well have stayed because I'm just sitting in the house alone. haha I'll find something to do though!

AAAAAA

Sooo school! A little stressful for unnecessary reasons.
I'm sure I covered in a post earlier this year that I'm in 20 hours.. and whew it's catching up to me. Luckily we are over halfway and I am 99% sure I can get another 4.0! After midterms I do.. and I should be able to keep up the same work effort or less and keep it. Lately, I keep missing like 1 question on a quiz or something with only 10 questions. I hate 10 question stuff. I study and study and study.. for what? to get tricked by one question. Still and A.. just the lowest A. I just freak out because then it's going to be easy to drop to a B if I happen to miss 2 on a quiz one time or something. Not like that would be the end of the world or anything... well tomorrow I have another one of those stupid 10 question quizzes that I had to read like 15 news articles for. who knows what kinda of questions will be on this quiz but oh well.

I found out that because I will not be running in the first meet, I get to go home on Saturday! I'm pretty excited.. mostly because I get to go to Central church! Secondly because I'll get to spend time with my family and thirdly because I'll get to work and make some money and see some free movies!

Running.. running running running...
Cross training was not going so hott earlier this week. After every bike workout.. I was in a lot of pain that lasted all night and the next day and would have me limping. I ask my trainer about it. She suggests switching bikes/aqua jogging. I aqua jogged that day, but I was really tight/sore and in a little bit of pain that night, but it didn't really continue over to today. Today I tried the new bike.. didn't do a workout, but would up still getting a good one in. 24.2 miles in 65 minutes! And after I finished.. no pain! no limping! yay! What's weird today though, is that what has been bothering me today was not really my back muscle I was struggling with earlier, but it was more hip flexor and mostly IT Band issues. I'm just glad my back wasn't hurting. I know what to do to help my IT Band and hip flexor. I have no clue what is REALLY even hurting when I get the back pain. Everyone says it's muscular, but what muscle? What can I do for it? Apparently, just rest. Well hopefully a mixture of this new bike and aqua jogging will not make anything any worse and only help me get better!

Last thing before I go - My girlfriend is really helping me keep this positive attitude about coming back from this painful back stuff and just hard times with recovery and stressing about school. As bad as I think I have it.. I don't at all. At my worst of worsts.. I have it made. I definitely need to keep myself humble.

stupid mike just got my computer wet.

Down to the Wire

Down to the wire
I wanted water but
I'll walk through the fire
If this is what it takes
To take me even higher
Then I'll come through
Like I do
When the world keeps
Testing me, testing me, testing me


-John Mayer "Vultures"


Well, I am currently listening to John Mayer trying to relax. Maybe writing some stuff will help.

My current frustration is running, so I'm going to start here while my minds on it. If i was going in order of importance, school would be my next update but, oh well.
Things were going so great since my last post wayyyyy back in early February when I was just getting back into shape from the muscle spasm I had before Christmas break. I was finally pushing through workouts up in the top group or right behind. One Saturday morning we did a tempo. I only had 8 miles, some other guys had less, but a couple had 10. I stayed with the guys that had 10 for all 8! 43:13 for 8 miles - I was pretty freaking happy about it. I mean, not amazing, but I was back in shape! I felt great! I felt part of the team again and worthy of being on the team! So then what happens? The next workout we have was a fartleck on the farm.. Gravel road.. really loose gravel.. pretty windy, and from the first interval everyone was sprinting! I was dying, but I was determined to stay with the top group no matter what. I had just run an 8 mile tempo with them; I could hang on for a 20 something minute fartleck. Of course, a little over half way my back started hurting. It was the same thing as before Christmas. At the end of the workout I couldn't even do the cool down :( It's been 2 weeks. 2 weeks today actually, and I haven't run over 1 minute at a time without wanting to just absolutely die in pain. It hurts when I walk too. I don't know exactly what it is, but my trainer assumes it's the same thing it was last time. I feel like it is and the only thing I could do last time was rest. It doesn't hurt while I bike, but it sure hurts afterwards. I'm starting to wonder if it's doing any good. I feel like I'm actually getting a good workout by biking, but I'm starting to wonder if it's keeping me from getting better. I took yesterday off because I was at home and didn't have a bike or anything to cross train on anyways. Today I felt sooo good! All day! Didn't hurt walking or anything. Once I got off that bike today though, it was back. Painful. I feel like I'm just going to have to start all over again. I've been kind of paranoid lately that there's just some freak thing wrong with me that I'll never be able to fix or figure out how to keep it from coming back. I just want to run. I don't want to be scared that my back will hurt. I love running. I hate seeing the team workout and I can't be in the mix with them. I would rather be dying in a workout than on the stupid bike, or feel the way I do just walking around. It's a whole different kind of pain. Today, the guys did a workout I used to do in high school. A Michigan. It's the freaking hardest workout I've ever done I think. I used to tear those things up.. I so wanted to be able to do it so much faster today than I did in high school to show how far I've come. Once you finish something like that, you just feel strong. At least I always did in high school. Always did the whole freaking thing by myself too because the guys on my team were panzies. Workouts like this make me miss running so bad. I'm going crazy without it. On the other hand, in church on Sunday and actually just in my life in general lately, I've been feeling that I let running take too much control over my attitude, and life in general. I've realized this before, but I really need to do something about it. I guess I feel if I'm not moping about how pissed I am that I can't run that people will think that I don't care, that I'm faking it or something stupid like that. I shouldn't even care what they think.. but it's just hard anyways.. one of the things you love most being taken away from you. It's kinda like if Haley broke up with me right now. I'd still have to see her every day. I'd have to watch other people carry on relationships with her and the only thing I'd want is to be able to have that again. Life goes on though. Running doesn't DEFINE me. It is a talent that the good Lord gave to me and if He wishes me not to use that talent right now, then I need to find another way to glorify Him. I'm going to turn this situation around! I control my attitude and I'm going to make it a good one.

Well I haven't exactly caught up on my Bible readings. I'm like 2 chapters behind :o
I'm spending tonight to catch up. It's much needed. And then to catch up on sleep. I was up till 2 last night/this morning working on a Bio 2 lab. Kill me. haha

Well wish me luck with this attitude change, but also pray my back gets better. I fully believe in the power of prayer :)

A Month. Really?

It has been over a month since I've said anything on here. How sad. Well, a lot has happened since early February: Valentine's Day, some great workouts, some fights, some really goooood times, signed a lease, and had another freaking muscle spasm.

Well let's see...
I'm still on top of my Bible readings, well except for yesterday. But I'm just about caught up and will catch up with no problem. Since February I have finished Leviticus! and I may have even still be in Exodus, but I finished that too! I can't really say I've understood everything or been 100% focussed like I should be, but it has still helped and been great to read. I've only missed one church service this year I think. I'm going to feel bad whenever I go back to Starkville 1st Baptist, though because they notice when I come, so they have probably noticed I haven't been there in a while. I've come home to church twice now, I went to 1st Presbyterian with some of the guys on my team, I missed the one service and I tried out the church Cross Point. Neither of the churches I went to really moved me the way Central church does here at home. I'm excited to go there in the morning. My relationship with God is getting stronger every day. I always tell myself I'm going to be one of those people that prays before every meal, but for some reason, when I actually sit down, I forget. How does this happen? I don't know. I walk in the cafeteria saying "Alright, remember to pray when you sit down" and then when I actually do, I just start talking to people and eating. Is this a bad thing? It obviously indicates that I become too focussed on food and talking to people than God, I think. It's just weird, but I pray a lot now-a-days. I also have been watching the church that my sister goes to in Knoxville! I REALLY like listening to the guy that gives sermons to the university students. He's really good about relating scripture to life and suggesting how to apply it.

I feel like I wrote enough in that paragraph to make this a post, but there's still a lot more for me to talk about, confront, or whatever I'm using this thing for. Maybe just one more topic for tonight.

My girlfriend. Not even sure where to start with this one lately. I feel like we have so many ups and downs. One minute we're fighting, the next we're laughing. One minute I feel old and married, the next I feel the "young and in love" way most people do our age. I mean, all in all it's great and I wouldn't trade it for the world. She's doing a pretty decent job battling her ED lately. There are some aspects I feel that could be a lot better, but I can't imagine going through it and am in no place to judge or make assumptions or tell her what she should do. Sometimes I just want to scream STOP COUNTING. JUST EAT IT. or something along those lines. I kind of did last night actually. Probably not one of my finest moments, but she recognized the problem and confronted it so I was proud of her. It's just weird how hypocritical situations with her and food can be.. like last night she's explaining how healthy the french toast we just made was, but then she was sooo scared to eat it at first. That's one thing I don't understand. I just wanna say listen to yourself haha. Also, she's very smart and clearly knows her problems. She's told me them 32789 times and how to fix them, but for some reason actually doing it is another story. Well, that's the case with a lot of things. "Easier said than done." I feel like this paragraph has been really depressing or I've sounded harsh, but really I'm so proud of her because I know it takes some strength that I don't even know if I have to fight something like that. I KNOW she'll get there one day. Also, she's a freaking beast at running. I'm jealous. 7th at SEC Indoor Championships in the 5k! If she wasn't sick, I think she could have gotten around 5th, but 7th is so great! I feel honored to be dating such a stud runner. haha

Well, it's late. I'm tired. This is long enough. I'll update soon on running/school/other less important matters hahah

FRIENDS

So, I'm watching FRIENDS. I LOVE THIS SHOW. I haven't watched it in about 2 months really and I forgot how great it is and always will be!

I've been so busy lately. I've wanted to blog, but just haven't had time I guess.

I'm just going to keep doing the same thing I usually do.

1. My readings are still going great! I just finished reading about Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt, all the plagues, and all that good stuff! Very interesting to read about everything that the Lord did and yet Pharaoh still did not believe Moses and Aaron. I've been going to Sunday school and have really enjoyed it. This weekend I'm going home so I'll be going to church with my mom. I'm excited!

2. School is going pretty well! I'm definitely staying busy with these 20 hours, but looks like I should get another 4.0 pretty easily. My History grade - 100%, Trig - 100%, English - like a 98% (she's only taken 3 points off one of my papers), Spanish - 96ish%, Government - 91%, Bio II - just got a 93.5 on our first test! I hardly feel stressed at all. I have my days I guess, but who doesn't.

3. I love my girlfriend! She's been so encouraging towards me lately and she's been handling everything in her life so well! She's freakin fast too. 9:42 for 3000m indoors. That's ridiculous. It truly inspires me to be better!

4. Running is going just great! Yesterday's workout showed a lot of progress for me! The wind was horrible so the times were not very good, but the effort was certainly there! I finished right behind a teammate who has been well in front of me the past couple workouts and he wasn't having an off day, I was finally having a good workout!
Full Warmup
1 mile - 5:08
4 x 800m - 2:34, 2:33, 2:33, 2:31
8 x 400m - (with wind, against wind..) 70, 76, 71, 76, 71, 76, 71, 74
Cool down
It was also freezing cold! Coach complemented me on the workout today so I definitely feel like I did something right! I'm just looking forward to hammering out some more good workout like this one, if not better!

Well, this FRIENDS episode is almost over and then it's Jersey Shore night and I have some homework to get done first.

Even Better

Well, I'm sitting here, deciding that I'm going to blog, but I have no clue what to call this one! I want to call it the same thing as my last one because I'm truly living a good life right now. Oh well. I'll think of something as this comes along.

Life = good. I'm still reading my Bible daily learning more and more about the Old Testament and God's work in the lives of Abraham, Isaac and their descendants. It's great reading about what happens to them and then still knowing that He never left their sides. It gives me comfort in knowing that He will never leave my side.

Lately, in reading some people's blogs. I see people usually either try to update daily or weekly with their progress in something. I can't decide if mine should be used for running purposes or to talk about what I've learned through my readings each day or what.. I just don't know.. I guess for now I'll just keep talking about my awesome life!

This past week has been great for me! In all aspects. Let's break this down..
1. My readings have been going great as I already stated.. Yeah, guess I gave the update for that up there ^ with what I'm reading and learning about.

2. Things with Haley are just great! We've been pretty busy this week, but both understanding and have kept contact at least.. unlike the disaster that was last week. I'm looking forward to a great weekend with her which will hopefully also include some Local Culture (this awesome frozen yogurt place here in good 'ole Starkville).

3. Running! My love is making a comeback! haha After a long 2 months pretty much of either doing nothing or not enough to get any sort of fitness, it's finally coming back! Progress is all I care about right now. I'm not looking to be the best on the team or anything like that. I just want to run. I want to not feel pain. I want to feel fit. Then I can worry about some intensity and quality workouts. This week was the first workout that I ran faster than my coach anticipated me to run based on my very slow come back it seems.
The work out was as follows:

Full warmup (2 miles, stretching, drills, extended run, couple of strides)
Mile - 5:03 (schedule said: 5:15-5:20)
4 Mile tempo - 21:50 (schedule said: 22:00-23:00)
Mile - 5:05 (schedule said: 5:15-5:20)
Cool down (2 miles)

I would say this was finally a good workout! Granted the other guys on the team were going like 4:40's and their 4 miler was in the 20 minute range, but I don't really care. They ran right around the times that they were suppose to - maybe a little faster - but I feel like I dominated the workout given to me and I know that one day (hopefully soon) I will be up there with them as my fitness is still coming back! I know I'm capable of much more. It was only 2 weeks ago that my 4 mile was 22:10 at it's fastest and I was dying. On another note, running/eating go hand in hand. I'll admit I did kinda freak out about what was going into my body over Christmas break and maybe a little before. Some of this may stem from having a girlfriend with ED, and then the rest is just my stupid brain. I guess I felt like when I really just wanted to eat 10 cookies that she would judge me, heck I judged myself at that point. Granted, probably no one should eat 10 cookies at a time, but I just really do not give a crap anymore. I mean some things are still disgusting to me for health reasons, but when I'm walking by the desserts in the school cafeteria, if I want a cookie then gosh darn it, I'm getting one. If I don't want one then good, but most days I would like just 1 to go with my meal. What's the harm in that? Especially since now I'm running full workouts and burning it off. I may have gone a little too far in the other direction earlier this week because the other day I think I have a cinnamon roll with breakfast, maybe 1 cookie at lunch, 2 before dinner and 1 after dinner haha. Well, I just tell myself: "At least I enjoyed them!" I'm not freaking out about it or anything. I just might slow it down a little because I still really do want that 6 pack one day. hahah

I feel like this is long enough. I hope any of my readers have had as great of a week as I have and that we all have another great week next week!

The Good Life

10 days. Really Conrad? Come on. haha
Well, nothing much has really happened. I finally feel like I'm living my life with the right priorities, though. School has been good without being too overwhelming. I've been eating whatever I want and not thinking twice about it. Running is going better. Still not where I want to be, but at least I'm seeing progress. 2 Saturdays ago, we ran a 4 mile time trial that I did in 22:10. Not good. That was all I could have done. On Saturday though I kept that pace for 7 miles! Sounds like improvement to me! Then today, I did 90 minutes averaging 6:29 pace and go about 14 miles in. That's the longest and fastest I've gone in a long time! It felt so good to be running with the guys.. doing exactly what they're doing and not feeling like absolute crap. However, a tendon on my left leg that has been bothering me hurt pretty bad when I finished and I can still feel how tight it is.. so I'm a little worried about tomorrow's run, but it should b fine! And if it's not, whatever.
My walk of faith is growing stronger every day. I'm still on track to read The Bible in a year. Some of this Old Testament is a little boring, but my Bible has some life lesson sections so I'm still learning things or being reminded of things in most cases. I read all of Job for the first time. Definitely very interesting to read about all the adversity he faced and learning how God will be there for me throughout all adversity and won't give me anything I can't handle and I just need to wait it out and trust him. This is exactly what I'm doing with running adversities right now. And so far, so good. I went to church Sunday. Wasn't crazy about the sermon, but I'm proud of myself for going and I'm definitely going more than I did last semester.
LIFE IS GOOD

A Fresh Start

It's been way too long since I've posted on here. I don't have any readers though. I'm starting to wonder why I even have this thing. I'm not inspiring to people like my girlfriend. If I were just a random person coming across my blog, I certainly wouldn't follow it haha. Oh well, I guess I have a lot to update on!

1. This new year is going to be one to remember for sure! I am submersing my self with the Lord! I'm going to try to read The Bible in a year! This is definitely one of the most positive things I have going for me right now! I haven't been able to rely on much lately and the Lord is all I need anyways. I need to seriously work on my relationship with him before I can do any good in others' lives or even my own. I need to rearrange my priorities. I say this knowing that I live in sin. I hate that I live a sinful life, but who doesn't sin. Some things I've been reading the past couple days have said how the Lord will love us no matter what and he will never leave us. Even when we push him away. I don't want to push him away, ever again. I've also read about how the satan walks around just looking for someone to taunt and that I need to have the courage and faith to deny him when I am tempted. I've learned that I am not smart enough to make my own decisions or choose my path and that the Lord has already chosen it. This leads me to thinking about how decisions I make will change my life. Well, if I make them, I assume God knows I was going to make them and they will eventually teach me some lesson. I guess I will just have to face the consequences for my actions like my mother always tells me. If I choose to lie, cheat, or curse, I will be answering for it one day. If I choose to drink, I could be caught and punished. If I choose to have sex, I could wind up with a baby. Some of these consequences for sins are definitely more frightening than others,  but these are choices I will face and choices I will answer for one day and learn things from. I know that the Lord will never leave me through the decisions I make, but that certainly doesn't mean I should just flat out sin and be ok with it, right? I'll fight these battles within as they come. For now, all I want is for this hunger for more knowledge from God to continue.

2. My family is doing great, I guess. I should most certainly work on my relationships with them. I didn't even call my mother today. She's probably so sad. She's trying to eat healthy and exercise this year and lose some weight. I'm so proud of her and I will be praying every day that she continues it. My sister was accepted into her Graduate School of choice which is really exciting! It's so weird to see my sister in the real world. haha

3. My girlfriend... where do I even begin with her.. I haven't even talked much about her on here as a friend pointed out. Some boyfriend I am? Well, she's amazing, but definitely going through a hard time. Actually, I think every day is hard, probably even every hour. I can't imagine fighting an ED like she is. I HATE when it takes over her. It's like within one hour of her restricting her diet, I can tell this other "Haley" comes out and is totally not the girl I fell in love with. Sometimes this scares me for our future. We were talking about our future the other night. It's so weird to think I already have my life all planned out. Don't get me wrong, everything is pretty much exactly how I want it.. as good as it can be. It's just scary. Other guys I know don't even know what they want to be after college. They are focussed on the day ahead of them. I'm always thinking about the future. I've always been a little more mature in this sense than most other people my age though. (that sounded kinda prideful, something I just read tells me it is NOT a good thing). Anyways, I have a lot of respect for my girlfriend for everything she's been through. I'll love her no matter what. I can already hear those wedding vowels, and I certainly will love her in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer.. and whatever the other traditional vowels are too haha I pretty much have already loved her through all these things.. So there is not a doubt in my mind that I would stand by her side through anything else.

4. School... is back in session. I love school. It's so weird. College is awesome though. I'm taking 20 hours this semester. Kinda a lot for someone like me. I'm definitely going to stay busy, unlike last semester. I am totally ok with this. I want to graduate in 3 years and if this is what it takes them I'm on board for the ride. I just really don't want to lose my 4.0.

5. Running. I don't even know where to begin. I LOVE IT. I'm practically obsessed. I want to be so great, but I suck right now. Getting back in shape after not running for almost a month and then only being able to do very little is not easy. I have my first workout with the team tomorrow morning. I'm kinda freaking out about it. I feel embarrassed. I'm nervous that my leg will start hurting half way through and I will be worse off than when I started. I want to feel stronger before I take something like this on. Today's run was amazing. I was a little winded afterwards, but it was a pretty good pace and the longest I've run in a while. I didn't have any pain either. Such a great day for me in the running world. I only hope that tomorrow goes just as well! This is the part of my life that I have definitely turned over to God. He has a plan for me with running. He had me injured over Christmas for a reason. It was probably because I was becoming so obsessed that I needed to stop. I just hate that it took me so long to realize this. Even with this minor leg pain, if it's hurting, it's hurting for a reason. Whatever it is, I don't know, but I honestly will not worry over it any more. I believe greatness is in my future thanks to Him and if it includes running then so be it! If not, then tough luck, it'll be something else!

 I guess I should go get some rest for this workout in the morning though! I think this post was long enough anyway!